My Love/Hate Relationship With Blogging // a tiny discussion about what’s been goin on with me 😌

Well, it’s awfully convenient that this post caused some chaos when I accidentally posted it too soon. I schedule posts to tell myself when they should go up, but I usually end up posting it days later, anyway. What’s the point, you ask? I have no idea.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while (say, more than 8 months), you might have noticed that my blog is not as consistent as I pretend it is. This post is a discussion/rant about my feelings towards blogging, and all that good stuff. 

I have been writing this post in my head for months, but on paper? I’m not even sure where to begin. 

The Beginning of Burn Out

When I started blogging in late 2018, I struggled to find my place in the blogging community. Was I supposed to post once a day or once a week? Was I supposed to post book tags without being tagged, since nobody knew me and I never got tagged? How does one even start to write a book review? How was I supposed to pay for large book hauls if I was just a college student who frequently read the same two series over and over again and called that reading? Was I truly a reader? 

Eventually, I started by doing whatever I wanted. I tried everything: I posted once a week, then three times, and I even tried posting on the weekends. I made myself feel like people were reading my posts, and even though my most popular posts had 5 likes, I told myself that was amazing enough (and it was!). I was the epitome of “fake it til you make it”, and my blog was going slugging forward, but I was blissfully moving along just the same. Bloggers with 1,000+ followers were untouchable geniuses to me, celebrities beyond my reach. They had everything I wanted, but if I never got to their level, I wouldn’t mind, either. 

A few months later, in Spring 2019, my blog started to gain attention. I’m still not really sure why this happened, but it really fueled my posts. I saw that more and more people liked what I had to say, and so… I pushed out more posts and used all of my ideas in just the span of a few months. I liked what I was doing, and it also distracted me from school. It was all very fun, and the community was overwhelmingly great to talk to! 

And then… I stopped blogging. 

I went from posting three times a week to once a week, and from there, it became once a month, until this past November when I posted absolutely nothing. 

So what happened? 

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The Pressure is Real 

The first thing I did wrong was misinterpret someone else’s stress, thinking that was the right way to handle things. I noticed that some of my favorite popular bloggers waited a few days before replying to comments, and I said, “hey! what a great idea.” Nope. Not a great idea, past Xandra! I’m still 2 months behind on comments to this day because of this mindset. 

I later realized that people sometimes waited a few days to reply because they had other things on their plate, and not because it was the cool thing to do. And now, here I am, stuck in a cycle of pressure to reply to the posts I made in September, while also having to pump out several good posts so that no one forgets me.

Every time I spend time on an “easy” post, like a tag*, I feel really guilty that I’m not in the mood to write a full discussion post. Earlier this year, I posted like three great discussion posts, and I often feel like i’m still trying to live up to the expectation of writing more similar to that standard. 😦 But I’m tired, my brain is fried from school, and I would rather give a post my whole 100%, rather than just 10% of myself.

There’s a massive amount of pressure I’m putting on myself, and the longer it takes me to write my next great post, the more pressure I add. I’m not entirely proud of the posts I’ve been putting out lately, because I know I could be doing so much more. Hopefully I can try better in 2020! 

*(I consider tags “easy” because they serve as a outline for what you’re going to say, as opposed to discussions, which are often made completely out of the mind of the creator. Tags often take just as long to write, but they’re just not 100% original when I do them! Only like 80% original 🙂 ((wow, i didn’t know there would be so many percentages here, whoops)))

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The Statistics Myth 

As a new blogger, my blog statistics meant everything to me. The higher my stats, the higher my chances were of getting a desired physical ARC in the future. My stats were getting higher and higher with every month, and I was proud of myself. I was finally reaching one of my unattainable dream goals of X views per month! 

But recently, I’ve realized that the only reason why I cared about stats was because of the possible ARCs I could have received once I reached a certain number. Now, I don’t really care if I never get a physical ARC from a publisher. *shrug* I’m already drowning under my TBR, and I’m fine with reading the backlist books I already own!

It’s been months since I’ve logged on to NetGalley and Edelweiss+. Receiving eARCs is still a very cool concept, but I would much rather read everything on my own time. 🙂 As a mood reader, this works much better for me! Now, I’m free to read whatever I want, whenever I want, with absolutely no obligations whatsoever. (I mean, I did already purchase these books, so I guess I’d feel bad if I didn’t read them. But you know what I mean!)

The more time I spend in the blogging community, the more I realize that statistics don’t really matter to me anymore. Of course, it’s fun to have goals and get excited about personal bests, but I just don’t want to stress myself out over stats anymore. It isn’t worth it! 

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How I Feel About Blogging Today 

Despite the title of this post, I still love blogging! But my attitude towards book blogging has definitely changed over time. The only thing I “hate” about blogging is the fact that it gives us high expectations for everything, and forces us to put pressure and self-doubt on every little thing we do. What I need to improve on, in the future, is just letting all of that go, and being my true self on my blog for as long as I can. 

Now, I blog for myself. I want to create content I’m proud of, or content I enjoy making. I don’t want to worry about what others think. If some of my posts only get a handful of likes, then so be it. At least I had fun with the post! 

While I don’t think it’s possible to forget about all of the pressure I’m feeling, I still want to acknowledge to you all (and to myself) that my blog stats are not everything. They shouldn’t determine how I think of myself, or who I think I am as a blogger. I always feel better about myself when I know that I’m trying my best, and that’s all I want to do from now on. 

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Goals for 2020

In 2020, I just want to post content which I will enjoy and be proud of. My schedule will probably be different from the way it was earlier this year (I’ll probably strive for something like 1-2 posts a week!), but at least I will still be doing the things I love. 

Blogging is such a fun thing to do, but I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing myself to do anything just for the sake of high stats. Therefore, I’m going to choose quality over quantity and make posts I feel good about! 

I also have some changes/updates coming to the blog soon, so we’ll see what happens! 😊

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A Formal-ish Thank You 

I never made the time to thank you for my recent follower milestone, so I’m going to do that here: 

Thank you all so much for 1,000 followers recently! 😭😭💕 It means so much to me that I’ve gotten this far in just over 12 months, and I never thought I would make it past this milestone at all! Thank you so much for everything, and especially, thank you for a great 2019! 

I would really love to do some kind of giveaway for y’all, because it means a lot to me that you’re even here and reading this post! Hopefully I can arrange a giveaway soon. Let me know if that’s something you would be interested in!)

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(I’m sorry I lied about this post being tiny 🙃 I made the title like 3 months ago, and I guess it would have been shorter if I had written it back then!)

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How has your attitude towards blogging changed, if at all? What kinds of posts do you struggle to write? Have you experienced burn out?

Chat with me about it!

You can also be my friend on Goodreads!

Happy reading, everyone! 😊Starry Sky Books-13


60 thoughts on “My Love/Hate Relationship With Blogging // a tiny discussion about what’s been goin on with me 😌

  1. I totally hear you on this post. I got swept away with blogging since joining back in April, but in the end I had to bring things back to what I wanted to do and could handle.

    I haven’t yet fully decided on what my changes will be in 2020, but there will definitely be a slight slowing down of things.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, and thank you!

        Yeah, the whole blogging concept swept me away at first, but I’ve made some changes that I’m happy with and that will ensure I focus on me and what I want to blog about first.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Congrats on reaching 1000 followers!! I definitely know what you mean about the pressures that build up! Especially since I’ve backed way off recently, and I went from posting every day in 2018 to thrice a week this year, my stats have decreased, and that initially stressed me out and made me feel like a failure… but by now I’ve come to terms with it and realized that what matters is that I”m happy with what I’m posting and how I’m doing and I should just ignore the pressures that build up :)_

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Kay! 💕 I’ve learned to accept that I can’t always post every day, and it’s okay to change the schedule if I need to! I’m glad you’re happy with your new changes, now! Good luck with everything in 2020 🙂


  3. I only started my blogging september this year. I posted a lot the first two or three months cause I wanted to have a good foundation of posts. I’ve been posting less this month. I think my posts could be more creative but I’m taking it slow.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s okay to try things out while you’re still new to blogging – it takes some people years to figure out their comfortable blogging style! Don’t worry too much about taking it slow so far, and I hope you find your favorite blogging methods soon 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I couldn’t agree with you more on this! I posted something quite similar. I’ve been blogging for 7 years but since being or WordPress I’ve really noticed an added pressure with stats and social media and finding time to blog, read and my work life too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I’m glad you agree! WordPress is definitely interesting because you can see certain stats and react to them if you wish, and ever since my stats started growing I’ve been feeling a pressure to post more. It takes some effort to balance blogging and life, and I’m still figuring out what works best for me!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s so hard to keep up with blogging and putting the same amount of massive effort in every single post. I’ve been inconsistently blogging as well. I can’t wait to see you post whatever you like, instead of feeling pressured.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It seems as though most of us bloggers go through times when it’s difficult to blog consistently, and I think I just have to accept that it won’t always be as easy as I thought it would be. I hope you figure out a good blog schedule which works for you!


  6. Awwwww you’re blog’s amazing Xandra & I feel like we all stress about putting content out regularly but the truth is it would probably take me a couple of months to realise someone stopped posting 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I think most bloggers feel like this at some point. I used to feel the pressure you describe and I also experienced a burnout for a couple of months but when you write things you are proud of and don’t focus on statistics, blogging is really rewarding! Good luck in 2020 and thanks for sharing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Aww, congrats on 1,000 followers, and I’m sorry that you’re feeling so pressured. I’m glad that you’re planning on changing that, so that this isn’t something that causes you more stress, but something you do for fun. And it’s alright if you don’t do a discussion post all the time! Tags are just as fun, and I totally get them being easy, because they truly are and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    Anyways, good luck with everything, and school, and life, and I hope your 2020 is much better and less stressful for you 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Rukky! 💕 Yeah, hopefully I can make this year less stressful by simply not worrying about when I post or not. Tags are very fun, but they’re also still stressful for me because I feel like I always use the same 5 books in every tag 😅 I really need to find some unique tags so I can use some of the less popular books I’ve read!

      And thanks! Good luck with everything as well, and I hope your 2020 is off to a good start!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Congrats on 1000!! And also this discussion is so meaningful, my attitude on blogging has changed a lot since I first started in 2014, especially with the move to a new blog this year. In 2017 I set myself the hopeless goal of doing one post a day; I did eventually manage it but a lot of it was backscheduling to fill in days I’d missed and it made me realise exactly how pointless the goal was. Now I try to post as often as I can but I post when I feel like it rather than adhering to a strict schedule. I wanna try to have a firmer schedule in 2020 but still with room for adjustment when I’m busy. Can’t wait to see your 2020 updates/changes! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!! I try to talk about all of my feelings about blogging, because I rarely saw these kinds of discussions when I was first starting out. I think I assumed blogging was easy and fun, but it’s a lot more time-consuming than I originally thought!

      One post a day is way too much for me! 😅 I used to post 3 times a week and that was already stressful, haha. I’m glad you’ve changed your goals since then! Posting whenever we feel like is a great idea. Good luck with everything in 2020, Cas! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Congrats on 1000 followers, that’s a huge achievement!

    I feel like apart from pressures that we place on ourselves, burnout also happens because we’ve bought into the hustle culture mentality, such that we can’t even let hobbies be fun – they have to be ‘professional’

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ahhhh Xandra I love this post!!! I can definitely understand feeling pressure to put out the best possible content, and beating yourself up about it when you don’t have time or mental energy for it. Burnout is so real, especially since this is something that we do in our spare time simply because we love doing it.

    But your attitude of creating content that YOU love is so great, and I hope that can take some of the stress off you in 2020. I hope you know that no one in the blogging community (at least, no one worth your time) is going to blame you for taking extra time to reply to comments or post things that you’re satisfied with 😊 Do things at your own pace and don’t worry about what other people think!

    Also, huge congrats on 1,000 followers, WOW!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Margaret!! 😊 I know that I should just sit back and enjoy myself while reading and blogging, but over time I’ve let it burn me out. This year I want to enjoy blogging again, and I’ll start by only posting the content I want to make, whenever I want it. 🙂 I do sometimes feel bad for replying so late on all of my comments, but I know I’ll get better at that soon! And you’re right, no one has ever shamed me for replying so late – it’s really just all in my head!

      Good luck with everything in 2020! And thank you!! 💕


  12. Xandra, this discussion was so lovely that I just had to comment on it, even though I’m currently not in one of my blog hopping sessions. This is a weird thing to say, but for a while you were one of the bloggers that i considered an untouchable genius and celebrity beyond my reach. your posts are some of my all time faves—i love your blog design and interacting with you in the comment section.

    when i first started blogging, i was so ecstatic when a post got 20 likes—i thought that i had made it or something. but now, if i posted something and it only got 20 likes, i would be so disappointed in myself. i’m such a stats-obsessed person, and i’m always jealous of what others have. but this discussion opened my eyes to the fact that i still won’t be happy even if i meet x number of views, followers, etc., because stats are such stats are such inconsistent things, and if i put my entire worth on them, blogging will never be fun for me. like you, i’m gonna try and put my worth on things that i can control.

    i hope that you find blogging completely fun next year! and i’m so sorry for the long comment! i know that i’ve already apologized for this and you said that it was okay, but i know how behind you are on comments, and I can’t imagine that one as long as this one would help. take care ❤ and congrats on 1,000 followers!! you deserve it ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Caitlin! 💕😭 Thank you so much for your kind words! I also enjoy replying to your comments so much, and thank you for having so much to say! I never get tired of long comments 🙂

      I agree – I remember when one of my posts got 15 likes, and that was a record for me! But now, I have a much higher number of likes that I’m trying to hit, and if I don’t hit that number, I beat myself up for it. Instead of doing that, I would much rather see my blog grow when I know that I’m doing my best and posting under the best circumstances. I would rather post things which make me proud, instead of stressing about posting things I’m less happy about. I’m still very stats-obsessed, but I think it also comes from me trying to figure out what my viewers like the most. I still get jealous sometimes, but I’m getting better at seeing that I should be proud of what I’ve already accomplished. 😌 I hope we’re both able to find more fun in blogging this year!

      (You don’t have to apologize for long comments! I like them because they show that someone is nice enough to read my content and have something to say about it 💕 I can’t reply to them as fast as the other replys, but it probably takes me just as long to reply as it took you to comment, so it all evens out!)
      (Also I meant to comment this on one of your posts but I forgot and it’s too late now: I really love seeing Gordon on your blog, bc he’s so very cute and reminds me of my dog! I must show you a picture of her sometime!)

      Liked by 1 person

  13. This is such a great post! I’m still in the early days of blogging (though my blog exist for 2,5 years, I have been serious about it for about six months), and I get really excited to get one comment on a post. I know it’s nothing, so somewhere I feel like it’s not enough. That’s when the pressure kicks in and blogging becomes a chore instead of a hobby.

    Honestly though, the most important thing is that you enjoy it, because then the readers will enjoy it too I think 🙂 And congrats on the 1000 followers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree! I’ve been blogging seriously for a little bit more than a year now, but I’m still nervous about posting. I always get excited when I see a comment! Blogging should feel like a hobby, because when it feels like a chore, it’s not fun anymore, and it’s hard to make anything you like when it’s not fun for you. Good luck continuing your blog!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Ahhh congratulations on your 1000 followers 😱🎉🎊well done! And I’ve seen soo many bloggers post about burning out, so it’s totally normal to take and break and decide that you’re going to start blogging for yourself! 🤗🌺💛

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Oh, I DEFINITELY feel everything you’re saying on this post. I have been slipping on blogging recently thanks to Life™ and even glancing at my stats just feels so depressing and how little I’ve read makes me want to cry. But it’s so important to remember *why* we are doing this and remember to love it and blog for yourself and how YOU want to do it. Everything else will fall into place. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  16. If I wait too long to reply to comments, I just don’t. Frankly, it confused me when I GET replies from someone months later because I don’t remember what I said to them in the first place! So if you’re really behind, I think it’s ok to just let some of the old comments go.

    I also think a lot of people are just faking “success,” so it’s not worth comparing or thinking other people are doing better. I see people who are self-hosted and always seem confident and polished and talking about their affiliate links…and then it turns out they barely get any views and are actually losing money on their blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I think everyone experiences stress and burnout! I’m lucky to have a coblogger who can keep things running if I get busy, but I also rely a lot on scheduling in advance. So I often have posts going up, but I may not even be around or have Internet access. I come back to the comments when I can, and sometimes waiting means I accidentally miss some, but I don’t stress out about it. I just do what I can and figure people understand. We all have lives that take precedence.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I relate to this post so much!! There can be a lot of pressure that you put on yourself to do certain things and create certain content that it can change what blogging means when you do this as it is overwhelming and exhausting. But I’ve definitely changed since blogging as I’ve learnt to focus on what I want from blogging and to do what enjoy. To let go of the pressure which feels so good. Obviously I still have hard days but it is better now.
    I totally agree about focusing on making content you are passionate about and putting 100% into one post instead of 10% into 5 posts as that’s what I’m trying to focus on now.
    And yes my relationships with statistics had certainly changed, I used to focus on them so much but now I focus on the support and other things!!
    Wonderful post and I can seriously relate!! I’m so excited to see where your blog will go in 2020 Xandra!! 💛 and huge congrats on 1000 followers, you so deserve it!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Sophie!! Yes, I’m trying to get better about posting and replying (although obviously I still need to work on replying sooner, haha) this year! I’m glad you’re also trying to focus on content you really want to make! Good luck with everything this year! ❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

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